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Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want

✍ Scribed by Frederick, Ronald J


Publisher
Jossey-Bass
Year
2009
Tongue
English
Leaves
210
Category
Library

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✦ Synopsis


In LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT, author Ronald J. Frederick, does a brilliant job of describing why people are so afraid of their emotions and how this fear creates a variety of problems in their lives. While the problems are different, the underlying issue is often the same. At the core of their distress is what Dr. Frederick refers to as feelings phobia. Whether it s the experience of love, joy, anger, sadness, or surprise, our inborn ability to be a fully feeling person has been hijacked by fear--and it s fear that s keeping us from a better life. The book begins with a questionnaire-style list that help readers take an honest look at themselves and recognize whether and how they are afraid of their feelings. It then moves on to explore the origins of fear of feeling and introduces a four-part program for overcoming the fear: (1) Become aware of and learn to recognize feelings--anger, sadness, joy, love, fear, guilt/shame, surprise, disgust. (2) Master techniques for taming the fear. (3) Let the feeling work its way all the way through to its resolution. (4) Open up and put those feelings into words and communicate them confidently. With wisdom, humor, and compassion, the book uses stories and examples to help readers see that overcoming feelings phobia is the key to a better life and more fulfilling relationships.

✦ Table of Contents


Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want......Page 5
Contents......Page 7
Acknowledgments......Page 9
Introduction......Page 15
Part I: Preparation......Page 27
Chapter 1: To Feel or Not to Feel......Page 29
A PHOBIA OF SORTS......Page 31
RECOGNIZING THE SIGNS......Page 34
TO BE OR NOT TO BE......Page 45
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 48
Chapter 2: How the Heck Did I Get This Way?......Page 49
WHAT WENT WRONG?......Page 50
IN THE BEGINNING......Page 51
I AM A ROCK, I AM AN ISLAND......Page 53
IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD......Page 55
THE ROAD MORE TRAVELED......Page 56
KAREN’S BRAIN......Page 58
HOW’S THE WEATHER INSIDE?......Page 59
UNWRITTEN RULES......Page 62
MY HOUSE......Page 63
UPGRADING THE WIRING......Page 64
AND A ROCK FEELS NO PAIN; AND AN ISLAND NEVER CRIES......Page 65
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 66
Part II: Taking Action......Page 69
Chapter 3: STEP ONE: Becoming Aware of Your Feelings......Page 71
WHEN IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS......Page 72
EMOTIONAL MINDFULNESS......Page 74
IT JUST DOES THAT SOMETIMES......Page 76
LEFT OR RIGHT, WHICH WAY SHOULD I GO?......Page 77
CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES......Page 79
BACK TO BASICS......Page 80
LET’S TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT......Page 83
TUNING IN TO YOUR FEELINGS......Page 84
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 89
Chapter 4: STEP ONE, CONTINUED: Becoming Aware of Your Defenses......Page 90
WHAT’S GOING ON?......Page 92
LINES OF DEFENSE......Page 93
THE SHAPE OF THINGS......Page 97
EVERY TIME WE SAY GOOD-BYE......Page 100
GETTING TO KNOW YOU......Page 101
DEFENSES IN ACTION......Page 107
FEELINGS CAN BE DEFENSIVE TOO......Page 109
NOW WHAT?......Page 110
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 112
Chapter 5: STEP TWO: Taming the Fear......Page 113
DAY OF RECKONING......Page 114
BEYOND YOUR DEFENSES......Page 115
BACK TO THE BRAIN......Page 116
PAUSE FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION......Page 118
WHAT’S IN A NAME?......Page 120
KEEP IT SIMPLE......Page 122
WHEN THINGS AREN’T CLEAR......Page 123
MINDFUL TRACKING......Page 124
TAKE A BREATHER......Page 126
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE......Page 129
TAKE HEART......Page 131
YOUR TURN......Page 132
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 133
Chapter 6: STEP THREE: Feeling It Through......Page 134
THE NATURE OF THINGS......Page 136
LET THE RIVER RUN......Page 137
IT IS WHAT IT IS......Page 138
ACCEPTING WHAT IS......Page 139
GETTING IN TOUCH......Page 140
PAYING ATTENTION......Page 142
ONE STEP AT A TIME......Page 144
SLOWING DOWN......Page 146
GIVING WAY......Page 147
A WORD (OR TWO) ABOUT ANGER......Page 149
RIDING OUT THE WAVE......Page 150
SEEING IT THROUGH......Page 151
TAKE TIME TO REFLECT......Page 153
TAKING CARE......Page 155
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 156
Chapter 7: STEP FOUR: Opening Up......Page 157
A FAMILIAR KIND OF FEAR......Page 158
GETTING STARTED......Page 160
HEEDING THE CALL......Page 166
THE POWER OF WORDS......Page 167
EXPRESSING YOURSELF......Page 169
MINDFUL COMMUNICATION......Page 171
NOT SO HARD AFTER ALL......Page 173
SOMETHING BETTER......Page 174
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 176
ALEX: THE GIFT OF GRIEF......Page 177
LAUREN: BEFRIENDING FEAR......Page 179
JULIE: MAKING ROOM FOR JOY......Page 181
BRIAN: UNCOVERING THE ROAD TO REPAIR......Page 184
KATE: GROWING INTO HAPPINESS......Page 186
MARK: WAKING UP TO ANGER......Page 188
FRANK: FINDING THE COURAGE TO LOVE......Page 192
IN OUR OWN WAY......Page 194
CHAPTER TAKE-HOME POINTS......Page 195
Conclusion: Making a Choice......Page 196
THERAPY......Page 199
COACHING......Page 200
Notes......Page 201
The Author......Page 205
Index......Page 207

✦ Subjects


Psychology;Self Help;Nonfiction;Emotion


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