Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success

✍ Scribed by Lafair, Sylvia

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Year: 2009
• Tongue: English
• Leaves: 259
• Category: Library

✦ Synopsis

How can you get to the bottom of workplace behaviors that simply don't work for you or your organization? Don't Bring It to Work explores what happens when patterns originally created to cope with family conflicts are unleashed in the workplace.?This groundbreaking book draws on the success of Sylvia Lafair's PatternAware program Total Leadership Connections. Throughout the book she shows how to break the cycle of pattern repetition and offers the tools that can turn unhealthy family baggage into creative energy that will foster better workplace associations and career success.

Lafair identifies the thirteen most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office: Super Achiever, Rebel, Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer, Clown, Martyr, Splitter, Procrastinator, Drama Queen or King, Pleaser, Denier, and Avoider. To help overcome destructive behavior problems, she maps out the three main steps for becoming aware of patterns and finding the way OUT:

Observe your behavior to discern underlying patterns Understand and probe deeper to discover the origins of these patterns Transform your behavior by taking action to change The book includes a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical, workbook-style exercises that clearly show how anyone can get beyond old, outmoded attempts at conflict resolution and empower themselves to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives.

✦ Table of Contents

DON’T BRING IT TO WORK......Page 1
Contents......Page 11
Acknowledgments......Page 13
Introduction......Page 17
Uncovering the Connections......Page 22
Breaking Free......Page 26
Part I: The Home-Work Connection......Page 29
Chapter 1: Relationships at Work and at Home......Page 31
A Workplace System That Wasn’t Working......Page 32
Not You and Me and He and She, but We......Page 34
Families as Systems......Page 37
Getting Back to Work......Page 40
The Path to Change......Page 42
Takeaways......Page 47
Chapter 2: Understanding Behavior at Work and at Home......Page 48
Family Roles......Page 50
Role Playing in the Workplace......Page 57
Reliving and Mending Our Patterns......Page 60
Don’t Bring It to Work......Page 69
Takeaways......Page 70
Chapter 3: Understanding Workplace Crises and Conflicts......Page 71
Universal Conflict......Page 72
Immediate Conflict......Page 76
Crisis Flare-Ups......Page 79
Festering Conflict......Page 87
Failure of HR Interventions......Page 89
Takeaways......Page 93
Part II: The Way OUT......Page 95
Chapter 4: The Thirteen Most Common Destructive Patterns in the Workplace......Page 97
Charting the Most Common Patterns......Page 98
Identifying Your Own Patterns......Page 113
Takeaways......Page 128
Chapter 5: Going Deep......Page 130
The Importance of Historical Exploration......Page 131
The World of Sankofa......Page 138
Takeaways......Page 157
Part III: A New Me, a New You, a New Organization......Page 159
Chapter 6: Defining a More Authentic You at Work......Page 161
Personal Growth: Becoming What You Already Are......Page 162
Beginning Your Transformation......Page 185
Creating an Action Plan......Page 188
Takeaways......Page 195
Chapter 7: Talking Together......Page 196
Four Ground Rules......Page 198
Listening for Verbal Cues......Page 202
Changing Conversations with Active and Empathic Listening......Page 204
The Martyr Revealed and Then Transformed......Page 210
The Importance of Systems Thinking in the Workplace......Page 211
Pattern-Aware Learning......Page 213
Takeaways......Page 217
Chapter 8: Connecting the Dots......Page 218
Tapping into Team Power......Page 220
Meetings of the Minds......Page 222
Working in the “Ugly Middle” of the Change Process......Page 223
Defining Boundaries......Page 226
The Tension of Change......Page 228
Takeaways......Page 234
Films of Inspiration......Page 235
Recommended Reading......Page 236
Notes......Page 239
About the Author......Page 245
Index......Page 247

✦ Subjects

Business;Management;Leadership;Nonfiction;Buisness