โ Scribed by Melanie Billings-Yun
No coin nor oath required. For personal study only.
s u m m e r 2 0 1 0 1 1 A while ago, I was contacted by the director of a youth center I had met when conducting a negotiation training session for community organizations in developing countries. He was visiting my city and wanted to know if he could come by to ask me a few questions. thinking he wanted some follow-up advice on negotiation, I invited him to drop by my office. the man arrived, launched into a slide presentation on his center and its activities, and then asked how I could help them. Confused, I asked, "Help in what way?" He pulled out a list. "We are asking for donations for . . . " I felt ambushed and exploited. Needless to say, this meeting did not yield the donation the director was looking for. Instead, I gave him some tips on better ways to approach future donors, then hustled him out as soon as I politely could.
What had gone wrong? It was not that the center director was unprepared, precisely. He had produced the presentation, compiled a list of needs, lined up possible donors, and set up meetings. the problem was that his preparation had consisted only of developing his own message. the director had approached me with his eyes fixed firmly on himself and his interests. as a result, I felt like nothing more than a mark-the object of a one-sided transaction.
effective negotiation needs to begin from an understanding that there is more than one party at the table and that, like you, that other party has interests and concerns. this applies whether you are seeking donors, negotiating budgets, or hoping to inspire employee cooperation in implementing a change plan. It is naive, even arrogant, to expect others to
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