The family contract project: Helping families rule their own roosts
✍ Scribed by Christopher F. Emley
- Publisher
- John Wiley and Sons
- Year
- 1985
- Tongue
- English
- Weight
- 355 KB
- Volume
- 5
- Category
- Article
- ISSN
- 0894-1912
No coin nor oath required. For personal study only.
✦ Synopsis
How the Family Contract Project Began
everal years ago, a caller asked me to name a S good school distant from San Francisco. She had a 16-year-old son whose behavior made it impossible for her to keep him at home; she hoped that a good academic program, far from rowdy friends, would help. I asked to meet the boy, to assess the right place for him.
After a couple o f hours with Ned, I couldn't recommend exile for him. He seemed a decent young man, but conhsed by his family's rules. His normal testing behavior had been met with widely varying responses, ranging from u nabashed molly-coddling to angry rejection. A drastic reaction one weekend might be foll0~7ed by exaggerated patience the next week. Ned lived under a system which perplexed him; he hadn't had a real chance.
I set a meeting with Ned and his parents, intending to help the three of them make their rules clear, and to suggest to Ned's parents that they keep the rules clear by applying them uniformly.
The one meeting became three, spread over a month. We produced a document which spelled out rules for school attendance, sexual activity, stealing, curfew and use of the family car. The agreement also prescribed sanctions for Ned's future misbehavior, and the rewards which lie could earn by satisQing the rules. Here's an excerpt from the rules regarding Ned's hours:
Ned will b e inside, at home, no later than midnight.