Recipe for the apocalypse:
- Four parts Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- Three drops of bathtub LSD
- A handful of sexual perverts
- Garnish with a bunch of really hot pissed-off militant lesbians
- Add a splash of savior approved Red Bull Shake or stir, just don't upset junk-monkey Phil in the process.
Serve to the demons that are currently invading the Earth. You think you know how the world ends? You don't know shit!
--
Armageddon arrived on a weekday, which was really inconvenient for a lot of people, including The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. After their appearance on The Kayla Mangrabler talk show, they decided to go their separate ways and cause as much havoc as possible.
Jesus has been stuck at the craps table for three days, sipping vodka and Red Bull, completely missing the end of the world. But he is about to meet up with Death and go on a road trip that will test their resolve and their blood alcohol content.
Meanwhile, an unlikely band of heroes are headed to Las Vegas to fight the Apocalypse. Creepy Chuzz and his one-armed, addict monkey Phil are flying there in an ice cream truck. Chuzz's best friend Leon plans to lend a hand, assuming he can escape the clutches of the insane Father Maniwhore not to mention Pestilence, who has designs on the janitor's bathtub-LSD-addled brain.
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hordes of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hellbent on delivering a Cease and Desist order to Lucifer himself.
They'd better hurry, because the Devil is rising in the desert, and he is hungry to start the Apocalypse that his son could not. But only if he can get it on with his giant floating glory hole.
Review
"If this is how the world ends--sign me up."
-- Jonathan Maberry, NY Times bestselling author of The King of Plagues and Patient Z
"The similes and metaphors are some of the most hilarious and imaginative I have ever read."
-- Jason "Wookie" Wuchenich - Author of Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms
"Bizarro with bite. Long and Moon are the Lennon and McCartney of apoc-horror."
-- Wayne Simmons, author of DROP DEAD GORGEOUS and the UK bestselling FLU
About the Author
"After completing The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole, the authors, Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon, fled the country. They were last seen in Brazil sipping Singapore Slings with Mescal on the side at the Cross-Eyed Donkey bar.
The men are wanted in connection with a string of bowling bowl thefts, zombie resurrections, and miniature bulldog jello wrestling. If seen, the men are considered wacked and hyper. Caution is advised unless you have a fresh supply of nitrous oxide to share.Clergy leaders have sworn that the two men will be brought to justice for crimes against the Church and literature in general."