Synchronizing loss with life is a dynamic journey. This article explores the myths, beliefs, and dynamics of loss and life. The purpose of the article is to help clinicians assist and support their clients with the difficulties of synchronizing loss with life as they progress on their life span journey.
Because of the dynamic nature of life and loss, individuals, especially those experiencing a life crisis, may have difficulty seeing or sensing any synchronization of loss and life. Webster's Universal College Dictionary (1997) defined synchronization as "to cause to go on, move, operate, and work, etc., at the same rate and exactly together" (p. 799). The rapidity of loss and life gives little opportunity to make any sense of an occurrence or to see any interconnectedness in life. Order and rhythm in life are lost, at least momentarily or sometimes permanently, in the midst of chaos, tragedy, and tremendous loss. Rather than maintaining a homeostasis of life or emotional and psychological balance in life, individuals may sense they are constantly being thrown back and forth on a depression-mania continuum. Three current examples of cataclysmic trauma include Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq War, and the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. However, daily, personal, nonearthshaking, noninternational losses also greatly influence the emotional well-being of individuals. Trying to understand and accept how such losses fit into a larger synchronization of life is difficult at best. Some clients need concerted and supportive assistance before they can move on with life.
Individuals face difficulties in accepting and understanding how loss is a part of life because contradictory myths exist that support the denial of loss. Especially in developed societies such as the United States, people possess a strong belief in the conquering hero, the victorious cowboy, and the overcoming athlete. Rather than accepting a synchronized process of losses and gains in life, individuals often choose to believe in counterbeliefs that contradict reality. Such counterbeliefs or myths may include: (a) concerted effort will give freedom from pain and suffering; (b) change can be avoided; (c) safety and security can be secured by obtaining the best technology money can buy; (d) unhappiness