Front cover
Title
Copyright
CONTENTS
Preface
A CHANGED BOOK FOR A CHANGED TIME
Who Does the Helping?
What Helpers Can Do
Being Yourself, Being a Helper
The Democratization of Counseling
The Human Assets of Helpers
Emotional Involvement
What Can We Really Do for Others?
Part One
GUIDING PRINCIPLES
Designated Counselors
Self-Confidence and Psychological Mindedness
Being Who You Are/Being Supportive
Supportive Tactics
Identifying and Reinforcing Defenses
EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT
What Should We Do?
What Should We Not Do?
HARD-BOUGHT WISDOM
Listen to the Person
Forget about Problems
Donโt Try to Do Good
Donโt Try to Do Well
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO TO US
Another Way of Listening
Reverberations of Others in Us
The Benefits of Listening
WHAT WE DO IN RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS
The Styles of Helping Relationships
Working for Others
Working with Others
REVELATIONS ABOUT OURSELVES IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS
Do We Want Others to Like Us?
Do We Judge Others?
Do We Ask Too Many Questions?
Do We Rush to Interpret?
Do We Like to Reassure People?
Do We Try to Be Understanding?
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE REAL?
What Goes into Being Real?
Some Reality Principles
THE SELF AS INSTRUMENT IN HELPING OTHERS
Being Human, Being Imperfect
Practical Themes
Counselors to the Community
ARE WE FRIENDS OR COUNSELORS?
Common Ground
Counseling as a Different Relationship
On the Lookout for Dangers
Seduction as a Reciprocal Process
Boundary Issues
Part Two
HOW DO WE INTERVIEW?
The Telephone
Appointments
The Physical Arrangements
What Do I Call the Person?
Great Expectations
Hostile Persons
Endings
THIS WASNโT MY IDEA
Meet the Reluctant
Is Forced Counseling an Oxymoron?
Beneath Reluctance
What to Do When Others Donโt Want to Do Anything
Envoi
I WONโT DANCE, YOU CANโT MAKE ME
The Faces of Resistance
The Counselorโs Involvement
Supportive Counseling and Uncovering Therapy
PLOTTING OUR COURSE
Thou Shalt Not Judge
When Diagnosis May Not Help...
... and When It May
How Deep Is the Ocean?
Who May Be Diagnosed?
Sensing the Spirit
Practical Issues
An Extension of Understanding
DIAGNOSIS: GOALS AND RESOURCES
Speaking a Common Language
Defining Mental Disorder
Current Classification: DSM-IV-TR
Conclusion
LISTENING TO THE LIVES OF OTHERS
Hearing the Story / Missing the Point
How to Hear the Story
TO WHOM SHALL WE GO?
Inside Stories
The Human Process of Referral
Knowing How to Go
Familiar Refrains
Self-Help Groups
Helping Ourselves
WHEN CAN I SAY WHAT I FEEL?
Countertransference, Unrecognized
Following Our Healthy Instincts
SUPPORTIVE PSYCHOTHERAPY
Important Distinctions
Insight-Oriented Treatment
Supportive Treatment
How They Differ
A Rule of Thumb Revisited
Part Three
READING THE SIGNS / WORKING WITH FAMILIES
Delirium
Dementia
Mental Disorders Due to a General Medical Condition
DRUGS: USE AND ABUSE
Drugs and Youth
The Work of Adolescence
Deferring Maturity
Signs and Symptoms of Drug Abuse
Cocaine
Other Drugs
What Can the Counselor Do?
DRINK, DRANK, DRUNK
The Things We Carry with Us
What We Know about Alcoholism
Alcoholics Anonymous and Other Programs
A Core Difficulty
What We Can Do by Ourselves or with Others
THE LANGUAGE OF THE SERIOUSLY DISTURBED
Shifts in Attitude
Classifications of Serious Illness
Simply Human
Strong Feelings
Some Basics
What Every Counselor Should Know
EVERYPERSONโS ILLNESS: DEPRESSION
How They Come, What They Say
Symptoms of Depression
Reading the Signs
Listening to the Depressed Person
Naming the Problem
Treating Depression
What We Should Know about Depression
Donโt Be Surprised If...
Hurting Themselves to Heal Themselves
Shifting Our Style
Theyโre Dancing as Fast as They Can
STRESSED OUT AND ANXIOUS
The Management of Fear
Anxiety as a Signal
Reading Lessons for Counselors
Being Anxious Ourselves
When Anxiety Becomes a Disorder
THE PROBLEMS OF HEALTHY PEOPLE
Imperfect but Healthy
Adjustment Disorders
Scoring the Stressors
Symptoms
Threats to Self-Image
Treating Adjustment Disorders
The Human Condition
INTRODUCTORY NOTES ON PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Personality Disorders
A Common Problem
PERSONALITY DISORDERS: CLUSTER A
The Paranoid Personality Disorder
The Schizoid Personality Disorder
The Schizotypal Personality Disorder
PERSONALITY DISORDERS: CLUSTER B
The Antisocial Personality Disorder
The Borderline Personality Disorder
The Histrionic Personality Disorder
The Narcissistic Personality Disorder
PERSONALITY DISORDERS: CLUSTER C
The Avoidant Personality Disorder
The Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
The Dependent Personality Disorder
Part Four
MARRIAGE COUNSELING
How Did This Couple Ever Get Together?
The Culture around Us
Scrubbing Up
Alone or Together?
What Are We Trying to Do?
Kinds of Problems
Counseling Is Not Cooking
The Mediator
Attention Must Be Paid
Be Ready to Be Surprised
Currents in the Air
It Suits Them
COUNSELING PERSONS WITH SEXUAL PROBLEMS
Why Are They Telling This Story?
A Healthy Alliance with Unhealthy Possibilities
The Languages and Dialects of Sexuality
Basic Notions for Nonprofessional Counselors
Sexual Dysfunctions
Knowing Enough to Make Referrals
Everypersonโs Complaint: What We Should Know
The Most Likely Problem Situations
What We Can Do/What We Should Not Do
COUNSELING THE HIV/AIDS PATIENT
The Extent of the Problem
The Counselor and HIV/AIDS
To Test or Not to Test
The Law and HIV
Back to Basics
Common Psychological Reactions to HIV
Additional Reactions
SUICIDE: WEIGHING THE RISK
A Richer Context
Things to Avoid
Things to Do
Attempted Suicide
Prevention
DEATH IN OUR CULTURE
The Too Easy Management of Death
A Fundamental Question
Children Wiser Than We
Palliative Care
Some Fundamental Attitudes
What We Know
The Counselor
SUFFERING OUR LOSSES
Bereavement
Distinguishing Grief and Depression
Normal Grieving
Fleshing Out Grief
Many Faces/Many Phases
The Search
The Work of Grief
Things to Remember
Side Effects
Are We Comforters or Controllers?
Being There/Not Being There
EMERGENCIES: BEING A STEADY PRESENCE
Life as a Crisis
Crisis Styles
Historyโs Lessons
Knowing Ourselves
The Critical Incident Stress Syndrome
Classic Everyday Emergencies
The Cardinal Feature: Anxiety
Common Difficulties
Somatic Problems
Difficulties with Others
Do We Include Others?
What Kind of a Referral?
Pain by Telephone
TAKING COUNSEL WITH OURSELVES
Winging It
Elements of Professionalism
Personality Theory
Time
The Economy of the Helper
NOTES
INDEX
Back cover