Nadia's Salvation

✍ Scribed by K.A Knight

• Year: 2020
• Tongue: English
• Weight: 265 KB
• Category: Fiction
• ASIN: B082ZMLDGR

✦ Synopsis

5:00 a.m. The Stranger (Seriously, my Savior would not wear bangs) -- 5:30 a.m. Paula White Today (Boosting God's self-esteem) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen Simul Iustus et Peccator -- 6:00 a.m. Jesse Duplantis Ministries (Being Charlie in God's chocolate factory) -- 6:30 a.m. Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer (Am I a victorious, powerful, stomp-on-the-devil's-head Christian?) -- 7:00 a.m. Changing Your World with Dr. Creflo Dollar (Resisting the cherry danish with God's help) -- 7:30 a.m. John Hagee Today (At the Ethan Allen Middle East Apocalyptic News Desk) -- 8:00 a.m. Breakthrough with Rod Parsley (Do the prayer line people have to use stripper names?) -- 8:30 a.m. Today with Marilyn and Sarah (I didn't know stickers could do that) -- 9:00 a.m. Believer's Voice of Victory ("The Secret," televangelist-style) -- Postscript: My Sister Emails in Solidarity -- 9:30 a.m. Best of Praise the Lord (Siegfried and Roy go to Burning Man) -- 11:00 a.m. Behind the Scenes (Liberals in heaven?) -- 11:30 a.m. Paula White Today (Forgetting about kangaroos) -- 12:00 p.m. Life Today (In the down-homey log cabin of millionaires) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen The Grassley Six -- 12:30 p.m. This Is Your Day with Benny Hinn (Catching the mic in one smooth motion) -- 1:00 p.m. The 700 Club (Pentecostal Romper Room) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen What Are People Getting Out of This? -- 2:00 p.m. John Hagee (How is a frozen pizza recall "news," or "Christian," or "Christian news"?) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen What Makes Something "Christian"? -- 2:30 p.m. Breakthrough with Rod Parsley (I wonder if "Raise eyes to heaven" was on the teleprompter?) -- 3:00 p.m. Praise the Lord (PTL) (Don Ho sings the bad theology of your childhood) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen Prayer -- 5:00 p.m. Ancient Secrets of the Bible (CorningWare is ruined for me) -- 5:30 p.m. Rediscovering the Kingdom with Dr. Myles Munroe (Religion as government) -- 6:00 p.m. Behind the Scenes (I think all this anointing has just given me the runs) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen Christology, Pneumatology, and the Absence of Language -- 6:30 p.m. The Hal Lindsey Report (Meet my dad) -- 7:00 p.m. Joel Osteen Ministries (McPreachy's good-time prosperity pinata) -- 7:30 p.m. Ever Increasing Faith (Every word in the Bible is true. We know this because the Bible says it's true, and, as we already said, every word of the Bible is true.) -- 8:00 p.m. Praise the Lord (Heartbreaking, inspiring, limbless day on PTL) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen What Is Really Being Sold on TBN? -- 10:00 p.m. Against All Odds (The session in which I pass out) -- 10:30 p.m. Life Focus (Exploring menopause with my ex-boyfriend) -- 11:00 p.m. The Dream Center with Tommy Barnett (Don't fake your own kidnapping just because you're having an affair) -- 11:30 p.m. This Is Your Day with Benny Hinn (You can't go wrong combining gold lame shoes and a Nehru jacket) -- Intermission Reflection on the Blank Screen Do They Believe It? -- 12:00 a.m. Pastor Greg (Sublimated homoeroticism is funny) -- 12:30 a.m. The Ramp (Getting under the glory) -- 1:00 a.m. Virtual Memory (Seriously? There's a Book of Jonah) -- 1:30 a.m. Bananas (Christians don't need beer and the F-word to be funny) -- 2:00 a.m. Xtreme Life (How would Jesus surf?) -- 2:30 a.m. Team Impact (Jesus of Nazareth: Lamb of God, or cagefighter?) -- 3:00 a.m. Children's Heroes of the Bible (I've become a monster) -- 3:30 a.m. BJ's Teddy Bear Club (Dancing poultry time!) -- 4:00 a.m. Greatest Heroes and Legends of the Bible (Through the rabbit hole) -- Epilogue: My Unlikely Evangelical Friend.;The author offers a critical and humorous look at Christian television after watching twenty-four consecutive hours of programming on the Trinity Broadcast Network.