β Scribed by Joe R. Lansdale
No coin nor oath required. For personal study only.
Jane has lost her job at the laundry due to a ketchup package she forgot to remove from an expensive item, and her prospects look dim. To top off matters, her younger sister, who lives up north, and who Jane has problems with, is getting married and has mailed her an invitation that Jane believes was sent due to her sister not expecting her to be able to come.
Itβs one incredible quest consisting of rides in cow trailers, a stolen car, and a convertible, a pirate outfit for children, and what will become a unique friendship.
JANE got a note in the mail that said her younger sister, Ronnie, was getting married in a place called Ernest City. It was up north, and Jane didnβt really want to go. She knew it would be cold up there and a plane flight would be costly and she would have to buy a new suitcase, and on top of it all, she and her sister didnβt get along all that well. She was surprised she had been invited, and decided it was meant to be a polite invitation, and no one really expected her to come.
That made her want to go. It had always been that way with her. You tried to talk her out of something, she was damn sure going to do it. This had resulted in two ex-husbands, a failed mortgage, a small scar on her left cheek, and a lot of beauty supplies she hadnβt been able to sell. When her mother was alive, she said, βJane, them supplies you got to pay for yourself if you donβt sell them, and you couldnβt sell a step stool to a midget.β
βI think they like being called Little People,β Jane said.
βWell, you couldnβt sell one to them neither.β
Jane had spited her mother for years in all manner of things to prove her wrong, and just last birthday, turning thirty, she realized she had in fact been proving her right for years. Though she kind of thought she might actually have been able to sell a step stool to someone that was short, on account of they might need it.
She wasnβt sure she could go to the wedding anyway, because she was on what might be called a limited budget. Which meant she had been fired at the laundry where she had been working for eight years, and was living off her savings, such as it was. The firing had been unfair. Some rich ladyβs clothes had been ruined when they got cleaned and pressed, but the way Jane saw it, it was the ladyβs fault for leaving a package of ketchup from Burger King in a pocket. She couldnβt look through every pocket on every pair of pants or dress, or such, and have it all done by Tuesday.
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