I'm Not Scared of You or Anything

✍ Scribed by Jon Paul Fiorentino

• Publisher: Anvil Press
• Year: 2014
• Tongue: English
• Leaves: 175
• Edition: Illustrated
• Category: Library

✦ Synopsis

Fiction. Art. Illustrations by Maryanna Hardy. ReLit Long Shortlist, 2015. Finalist, Hugh MacLennan Prize for Fiction. Winner, National Magazine Award, Silver Medal for Humour. One of the Telegraph Journal's Most Anticipated Books of 2014. The characters in I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU OR ANYTHING are invigilators, fake martial arts experts, buskers, competitive pillow fighters, drug runners, and, of course, grad students. This collection of comedic short stories and exploratory texts is the ninth book by the critically acclaimed and award- winning author Jon Paul Fiorentino. Deftly illustrated by Maryanna Hardy, these texts ask important questions, like: How does a mild mannered loser navigate the bureaucratic terrain of exam supervision? What happens when you replace the text of Christian Archie comics with the text of Helene Cixous? And, most important of all, what would it be like if Mr. Spock was a character in the HBO series GIRLS?

"I'm sure something scares Jon Paul Fiorentino, and maybe it drives him toward the deadpan magic he wields so masterfully in these pages. This is a daring and funny collection."—Sam Lipsyte

"Jon Paul Fiorentino writes the thoughts that we all might have, especially those of us who are loners, losers, or social misfits of one sort or another, using them to create surreal little worlds that show what it might be like to actually live them out. If you've ever suspected that the veil between the ordinary and the surreal was very thin—that just a small step to the left would take you to a place where things are not quite what they seem—then these stories, with their touch of absurd humor shrouded in darkness and often hazed over by drugs, drink, or mental illness, may be just what you're looking for.

✦ Table of Contents

I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU OR ANYTHING
CONTENTS
I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU OR ANYTHING
PILLOW FIGHT
IT SEEMS LIKE SEX IS A WEIRD THING THAT USED TO HAPPEN TO ME SOMETIMES

SWEETPROTIPS

CRITICAL THEORY ARCHIE
LIFE IS DIFFICULT BUSINESS, PERRY
THE PARABLE OF BRYAN DONG
INVIGILATOR
THE PROBLEM WITH LESLIE
PEN PALS
SYSTEMA VLAD
WHEN IT GOT A LITTLE COLD
TEEN WOLF QUOTES SLAVOJ ŽIŽEK
MR. SPOCK SAYS THINGS FROM EPISODES OF
JON PAUL FIORENTINO INTERVIEWS HIS MOTHER
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS