I'm Back for More Cash (Because You Can't Take Two Hundred Newspapers into the Bathroom)
✍ Scribed by Kornheiser, Tony
- Book ID
- 109733515
- Publisher
- Random House Publishing Group
- Year
- 2011
- Tongue
- en-US
- Weight
- 302 KB
- Category
- Fiction
- ISBN-13
- 9781588360533
No coin nor oath required. For personal study only.
✦ Synopsis
I think it's really cool to be on a jury. Take the O.J. jury--the people on that jury got book deals, and they got on Nightline , and some of them even got to meet Greta Van Susteren! They were always being written about in the newspapers: "Juror No. 1, a thirty-six-year-old Caucasian male with a master's degree who works for a high-tech corporation." Throw in a line about how "he likes to hunt and fish," and you've got The Dating Game _.
I wonder what they'd write about me. "Juror No. 4, a fat, bald, old, whiny Caucasian man who dresses like a vagrant and has complained incessantly about the texture of the toilet paper in the jury lavatory."
I try to diet, but unfortunately I've come to the point in life where nearly everything disgusts or disappoints me except food.
And so I eat all day long. If I had a family crest, at this point it would be a man with a chicken breast in one hand, a cheeseburger in the other, and a garland of...