If you're bad in bed, this book if for you.
If you know someone bad in bed, tell them right now, and make them buy this book. A text will work. Or a phone call. In person works best. Use power words like "loser" and "you suck." Also, grab them and shake them, to emphasize your point.
Doctor Hans Uberass is the world-renowned bestselling author of How To Stop Farting. He has turned his keen intellectual mind on the worldwide problem of bad sex, and came up with ten easy methods for men to fully satisfy themselves.
100% guaranteed, just like the book cover says.
Book covers never lie.
Besides the ten methods, there is also an extensive section answering all of your sex questions, sexual definitions for the very stupid, the ultimate sex tips for women, ten bonus tricks to help a man maintain an erection, and a section about gay sex, which is stuck in the end.
Stop being a bedroom zero and be a bedroom hero!
This is the self-help book you've been waiting for. And at almost 2500 words, it's the most comprehensive book ever written about the topic. Probably.
Here's what people are saying:
"I was bad in bed. But after reading this book, I am now a sex master, just like the author." - The Author
"I can now fully satisfy my partner, even while they sleep." - Someone Fast and Sneaky
"I read this. Now I'm the most popular man in prison!" - A Guy Who Just Got Turned Out
"I gave this book to my husband. He rocks my world." - The Wife of a Rock Star
"Out of all the books about improving your sex life, this is certainly one of them." - A Top Critic
"This book tells it like it is. The best of the best. Highly recommended." - Someone reviewing another book
"Georgia is on my mind." - Ray Charles
"I'm still the King of Arkansas." - The King of Arkansas
"Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?" - Someone Who Doesn't Get The Joke