How Not to Kill Your Baby

✍ Scribed by Weinstein, Jacob Sager

• Book ID: 107517059
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
• Year: 2011
• Tongue: English
• Weight: 9 MB
• Category: Fiction
• ISBN-13: 9781449410391

✦ Synopsis

Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever?

If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice:

• As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets.
• It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position...