β Scribed by Dale E. Basye; Bob Dob
No coin nor oath required. For personal study only.
Grade 6β8βQuintessential good-kid Milton Fauster knows all about his sister Marlo's life of petty crime. So, when they are both killed in a freak marshmallow explosion, he isn't surprised that she doesn't qualify for Heaven, but he's shocked to find that he isn't going there either. They end up in Heck, an unearthly reform school that isn't quite Hell, but certainly not a place anyone would want to stay in "for all eternityβor until they turn 18, whichever comes first." Principal Bea "Elsa" Bubb figures that there is something irregular about Milton's soul contract and keeps a close eye on him. Milton, meanwhile, plans to escape. During a dreary class, he meets Virgil, who has a map of the Nine Circles of Heck. Unfortunately, the only way out is through the sewer pipes, literally "down the toilet." The torments of the darned are described in vivid and often grotesque detail. Errant toddlers nap in gingerbread coffins while Boogeypeople read them Edgar Allan Poe. Milton and company make two graphically described voyages through the underworld plumbing. There are numerous classical and historical allusions, many of which will sail over the heads of the intended audience. ("I have an ax to grind with you," snarls home-economics teacher Lizzie Borden, after giving the celery 40 whacks.) In the end, the clever, if somewhat disturbing premise is overwhelmed by slow pacing and relentless descriptions of garbage, sewage, and other heckishly unpleasant things.βElaine E. Knight, Lincoln Elementary Schools, IL
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Welcome to Grizzly Mall: Home of the Stateβs Second-Largest Bear-Themed Marshmallow Statue! Such is the Kansas-fed, white-bread suburb 13-year-old Marlo Faustus longs to escape. And escape she does, with her unwitting, innocent younger brother, Milton, when said sculpture explodes, and they arrive, newly deceased, in Heckβwhere the bad kids go. Puns and allusions abound, enough to sate the corniest appetite, even if many will slide right by the reader: the kidsβ limbo is ruled by one Bea Elsa Bubb, Principal of Darkness, and faculty include Mr. Nixon (ethics), Lizzie Borden (home ec), and Mr. Dior (fashion, though his sole offense appears to be that he is effete). Beneath the jocular surface, though, Marlo and Milton work through a complex sibling relationship on their quest for escape. Can they put aside their differences to elude the Boogeypeople and hall demonitors free the jarred blobs of lost souls, hatch a getaway, and stay together? Heck if I know. Grades 3-6. --Thom Barthelmess
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WHEN MILTON AND Marlo Fauster die in a marshmallow bear explosion, they get sent straight to Heck, an otherworldly reform school. Milton can understand why his kleptomaniac sister is here, but Milton is--or _was_ \--a model citizen. Has a mistake been made? Not according to Bea "Elsa" Bubb, the Prin
When timid Milton and his older, scofflaw sister Marlo die in a marshmallow bear explosion at Grizzly Mall, they are sent to Heck, an otherworldly reform school from which they are determined to escape.
When timid Milton and his older, scofflaw sister Marlo die in a marshmallow bear explosion at Grizzly Mall, they are sent to Heck, an otherworldly reform school from which they are determined to escape.
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