Despite evidence that child abuse and woman abuse often occur in the one household, responses to violence have generally focused on either women or children. The concept of an abusive household gender regime (AHGR) was developed through research on maternal alienation, the undermining of mother-child relationships by perpetrators of violence. The concept of the AHGR allows a comprehensive understanding of the operation of gender and violence and the ways in which these impact on all household members and their relationships. An AHGR is characterised by perpetrators' imposition of a coercive web-like regime on household members and the interlocking of many forms of abuse, which entrap victims. Perpetrators employ gendered constructions that demean women and advantage men. Resistance to the idea that fathers can be dangerous to their children bolsters the position of abusive fathers, and illustrates how there is minimisation or denial of men's responsibility for violence at all levels. Understanding gender, power and the AHGR allows the development of practice that combines child protection with woman protection, responds more holistically to the multi-abuses perpetrated on family members and assists women and children together to recover from violence.