Cognitive Behavioural Coaching: A Guide to Problem Solving and Personal Development

✍ Scribed by Michael Neenan, Windy Dryden

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2020
• Tongue: English
• Leaves: 233
• Edition: 3
• Category: Library

✦ Synopsis

The way we think profoundly influences the way we feel and behave. Therefore, it can be said that learning to think differently can enable us to feel and act differently. Derived from the methods of cognitive behaviour therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Coaching: A Guide to Problem Solving and Personal Development shows you how to help yourself by tackling self- and goal-defeating thinking and replacing it with an effective problem-solving outlook.

This book gives clear and helpful advice on:

• Dealing with troublesome emotions

• Overcoming procrastination

• Becoming assertive

• Tackling poor time management

• Developing persistence

• Developing resilience

• Handling criticism constructively

• Taking risks and making better decisions

Originally titled Life Coaching: A Cognitive Behavioural Approach, the third edition of this book has been considerably revised and updated to reflect current thinking on some of the topics discussed. This book will be invaluable to all those who are interested in becoming more personally effective in their everyday lives, and to counsellors, coaches and psychologists, students and qualified alike.

✦ Table of Contents

Cover
Endorsement
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Table of contents
Preface
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1 Dealing with troublesome emotions
Introduction
ANTs in your mind
Distorted thinking
Core beliefs
Some common troublesome emotions
Anxiety
Depression
Anger
Shame
Guilt
Hurt
Jealousy
Envy
Conclusion
Chapter 2 Problem-creating versus problem-solving
Introduction
Problem-creating: Paul
Problem analysis
Problem-solving
Paul’s plan of action
Problem-creating: Diana
Problem analysis
A = attitude
D = defining the problem and setting realistic goals
A = generating alternative solutions
P = predicting the consequences and developing a solution plan
T = trying out the solution to see if it works
Review of progress
Conclusion
Chapter 3 Overcoming procrastination
What holds you back?
Causes of procrastination
1. Anxiety
2. Low frustration tolerance (LFT)
3. Rebellion
Putting things off
Typology of procrastinators
The perfectionist
The dreamer
The worrier
The crisis-maker
The defier
The overdoer
The common denominator of procrastination
Tackling procrastination
Assessing the problem
The course of coaching
Conclusion
Chapter 4 Time management
Introduction
Poor time management
Making clear what your values and goals are
Monitoring your time
Determining task priority
Pinpointing emotional blocks to change
Becoming better organised
Prime performance in prime time
Reducing time online
Is it working?
Coaching example
Richard’s time log
A tip for you
Conclusion
Chapter 5 Persistence
Introduction
Three key insights
Trying or doing
The meaning of willpower
Failing to persist
Short-range hedonism
‘If only I knew how it started’
‘How can I persist if I’m no good?’
‘I’m not me any more’
‘Others must help me’
‘I was born this way – I can’t change’
‘What if I’m not successful?’
‘I’m not making progress, so I might as well give up’
Commitment to sunk costs
Jumping from task to task
Hidden agendas
‘Change looks after itself, doesn’t it?’
‘I don’t feel any different’
Secondary gains
‘I can see what the problem is now’
Insufficient critical thinking
Coaching example
A personal experience of persistence
Conclusion
Chapter 6 Dealing with criticism
Introduction
The approval junkie
Rejection
Defensiveness
Getting angry
Hurt
Constant criticism
Oversensitivity to criticism
Shame
Dealing with the inner critic
Performance evaluation
Expressing criticism
The Invitation Technique
Conclusion
Chapter 7 Assertiveness
Introduction
Distinguishing between assertion, aggression and unassertiveness
Misconceptions about assertiveness
Acting assertively means that you automatically get what you want
Having become assertive, you must act in this manner all the time
Being assertive will make people respect or like you
Being assertive always equals strength
Being assertive makes you a good person
Being assertive will solve all your problems
Blocks to assertiveness
Assertiveness training
From training to real-world practice
Eight steps to healthy self-assertion
Step 1: get the person’s attention
Step 2: describe objectively the other person’s behaviour that you have difficulty with
Step 3: express constructive feelings
Step 4: check your interpretations and invite a response
Step 5: listen to the other person’s response and give feedback
Step 6: state your preferences clearly and specifically
Step 7: request agreement from the other person
Step 8: communicate any relevant information concerning future episodes
Coaching example
Conclusion
Chapter 8 Developing resilience
Introduction
Bouncing back or coming back?
Emotion and behaviour in resilience
Some blocks to developing resilience
Attitude: the heart of resilience
A modern day Epictetus
Strength through faith
Resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary
There’s no education like adversity
Attributes associated with resilience
Making yourself more resilient
Coaching example
Learning an important lesson from the resilience literature
Conclusion
Chapter 9 Taking risks and making decisions
Introduction
‘I can’t take the risk’
Coaching example
‘I’m not confident enough to try it’
Decision-making
Decisions, decisions, decisions
‘I wish I was decisive’
‘I must be sure that I will make the right decision’
‘I must be comfortable when I make decisions’
‘I must make the right decision because if I make the wrong one, this proves I am stupid and inadequate’
‘I must make the right decision in order not to lose your approval’
Too decisive
Decision-making styles
Cost-benefit approach to decision-making
Creativity
‘What will people think of me?’
Creative suppression
‘I’m not creative’
Creating a ‘new’ self
Life as a process
Conclusion
Chapter 10 Understanding the personal change process
Introduction
Preview
Stage 1: admit that you have a problem and take responsibility for it
Stage 2: be specific about your problem
Stage 3: identify your troublesome emotion
Stage 4: identify the aspect of the situation that you are most troubled about
Stage 5: select your goals for change
Stage 6: challenge and change core beliefs
Developing self-acceptance
Stage 7: strengthen your new outlook
Trap 1. ‘I cannot take constructive action until I am comfortable’
Trap 2. ‘I cannot take constructive action because I do not have a sense of control’
Trap 3. ‘I cannot act differently because I do not feel competent yet’
Trap 4. ‘I cannot take new action which is strange to me because I do not feel confident to do so’
Trap 5. ‘I cannot undertake constructive actions, particularly those which are risky for me, because I do not have the courage
Trap 6. ‘I cannot take constructive action until I can be certain of success’
Stage 8: generalise your gains to other relevant situations
Stage 9: maintain your gains
Conclusion
Chapter 11 Putting it all together
Introduction
Self-acceptance
High frustration tolerance (HFT)
Think for yourself
Be resilient
Take calculated risks
Learn to accept uncertainty
Self-responsibility
Enlightened self-interest
Develop vitally absorbing interests
Think and act flexibly
Develop realistic expectations
Distinguish between what is within and what is outside of your control
Learn tolerance
Teach others
Use humour
Conclusion
References
Index