Introduction : Wannabes ; Trainees ; Applicants ; Slaves ; The approach I take ; About Patrick's reflections ; Patrick reflects: first thoughts -- A complementary relationship : Authority and obedience ; Dominance and submission ; Responsibility ; Trustworthiness ; Security ; Satisfaction ; Empowerment ; Complementary qualities ; Patrick reflects: A yin-yang sort of thing -- The call to serve ; The purpose of slavery ; The role of will in a d/s relationship ; Surrender ; Obedience ; Bonding ; Service ; The call itself ; Patrick reflects: answering the "call" -- Finding a partner : Your unique expression ; Expectations ; Early protocols ; The search ; The ad ; The interview ; The first meeting ; Clicking ; The experiment ; Evaluation ; References ; Upping the ante ; Patrick reflects: how to find a master -- Negotiation the relationship : The nature of negotiations ; Petitions ; The slave petition ; What you want ; Why you want it ; What you will do to get it ; The contract ; Timely considerations ; The value of half a loaf ; Patrick reflects: negotiation pitfalls -- Committing yourself : The myth of the plunge ; Fear of failure ; Getting ready ; Priorities ; Experience ; Degrees of commitment ; Understanding The deal ; Legal considerations ; No escape ; Rights ; Having a scene ; An important note about failure ; Part-time ; Phone and cyber ; Other kinds of slaves ; Patrick reflects: making it work -- The training process : Defining goals ; Introduction ; Direction ; Explanation ; Performance ; Evaluation ; Correction ; Repetition ; Encouragement and inspiration ; Removing blocks and unloading baggage ; Panic and prevention ; The bottom's responsibility ; For the top ; In summary ; Patrick reflects: real training isn't what you think it is -- The slave's understanding the request ; Admitting your limits ; Formal training ; Protocols ; Slave as reflection ; The hidden value of protocols ; Demeanor ; Patrick reflects: slave skills -- The role of punishment : A contrary opinion ; Proper punishment ; Deprivation ; Patrick reflects: when it really hurts! -- The small and not-so-small stuff : Fear ; Safer sex ; The next problem ; The 24/7 dilemma ; Everyday living ; Rituals ; Dress and markings ; The mutual need for expression ; Considering reality ; Domestic violence ; Financial considerations ; The end ; Patrick reflects: stuff, tips, and tricks for success -- The real slave : will and ego ; Ego and slavery ; The basis for surrender ; Setting priorities ; The gift of self ; The proud slave ; Devotion ; The last word about real slavery ; Patrick reflects: being real -- Sexual service : Fear of intimacy ; Duty to arouse the master ; Knowing one another ; Owning our bodies and giving them away ; Physical intimacy ; Affection ; The conundrum of reversal ; Chastity ; When sex is a duty and other considerations ; Another conclusion ; Patrick reflects: sex, chastity and orgasms -- The place of kink : Expressing control ; Bondage ; Sadism ; Discipline as fetish ; Intensity and edge play ; Humiliation ; Worship ; Care and safety in all of this ; The last word on kink ; Patrick reflects: it's not all whips and chains -- Polyamorous m/s : Monogamy ; Polyamory ; Promiscuity ; Infidelity ; The need for knowledge of self ; Three ways and more ; Jealousy ; Families and stables ; Alpha and beta slaves ; Patrick reflects: who is The possession? -- The healthy d/s relationship : The periodic review ; Separate spaces ; Suggestions for long-term relationships ; The unspoken reality ; In summary ; Patrick reflects: relationship survival -- A necessary last word -- Appendices : Glossary ; Guidelines for a questionnaire ; Expectations and regulations concerning voluntary servitude ; An interview with Patrick.